But I have finally found the solution in corporate sponsorship!
And as part of my agreement with my new sponsors I must give them something called a "shout out" (?), which as far as I can make out is some young person's jive term for printing some advertising blurb for them.
So with out further ado, let me introduce the first of my new sponsors: www.Blackfacedicks.com
Tired of the same old porn shit? Dog porn got you soft? Well at blackfacedicks we've got everything, ever wanted to see 543+ inches!!! of rock hard black faced dick on blackfaced blonde action?!! Want to see little white girls in blackface being ripped apart in all their pedegological arguements by well hung blackfaced hunks massive blackfaced cocks!!??! Watch award winning blackface pornstar, Sambo Corkface, as his massive rock hard veiny pulsing blackface 985.700087564+ inches slam into blackface girl after blackface girl making her scream in an amusingly over the top jamaican accent for more hot blackface anal blowjobs ass2mouth ex-stacy!!!! Unlimited Downloads because that enables us the maximum blackface opportunity to get blackface hard cocks spyware onto your little white blackface deepthroat system that will allow us to steal all your personal information blackface!?!?!!?!?!!!
Ohkay, enough of that and now my second and final sponsor, www.porn4masochists.com:
Hey MAn, Tired of the same old Porn shit? Girls wrestling in giant hotdog outfits got not tickling your fancy? Well Porn4Masochists is your answer! At Porn4Masochists, the low low price of $59.95 a month will get you a password that will give you nothing more than an error screen telling you you have hte wrong password to Porn4Masochists MASSIVE batabase of over 50,000,000 hardcore degradation slut movies, and an offer to allow you to download our special webcam based customer service chatroom client that charges you international rates so that you can talk to a woman in a severely plain dress will pointedly refuse ot help you access Porn4Masochists MASSIVE collection of hardcore patriarchal pimp fagmonkey pictures and photoshoots, and is in fact threatened under pain of death to do what she has to to stop you from actually seeing any of hte BEHIND THE SCENES footage of the stuff that the international jews won't allow Porn4Masochists to sell in the shops if we sold things in shops that is!
Now Obviously I must point out that no real lady would go near any of those sites, but I understand that men apparently have these uncontrollable "urges", which I of course would not know about while obsessing wildly about them at all times, on account of me being a complete virgin except for that one thousand, eight hundred and four point oh one five times I slept with men during the year of our lord 2003, when I thought haile bop* had returned to finish me off after our last close encounter, leaving me with only a few months to make preparations for my inevitable demise. If those ladies of a married or mistressal persuasion would please click through I would be most appreciatable as it would allow me to buy that foul mouthed devil woman GrannyVibe's house from under her and install a Presbyterian Mega Crisis Pregnancy Church inside it for maximum justice.
* though it actually turned out to be just a really big mosquito sent by Ann Coulter to make good on that "blood for oil" scheme I'd ended up getting involved in.
